Youth sports podcaster John O’Sullivan said something that every physician (and really every human) should tattoo on their soul: Your influence is never neutral.
Yesterday, a young patient reminded me of this truth in the most unexpected way.
Six months ago, this patient walked out of my office after another successful visit. He’d been struggling with a dysfunctional overuse pattern with alcohol and had managed to quit drinking completely, a victory worth celebrating. As he left, I caught him in the hallway and said something I barely remember: “I’m proud of you.” Simple words, spoken in front of a few staff members, then forgotten by me within minutes.
But yesterday, he brought it up again.
“Doc, you probably don’t remember this, but six months ago you told me you were proud of me in the hallway. That meant everything to me.”
Here’s what hit me like a freight train: While I was questioning whether I was making any real difference with patients and their health in general, this passing comment had been carrying him forward for half a year.
The brutal irony? His reminder that my encouragement had impact gave me the encouragement I needed to keep going when I don’t always see the obvious results I want for my patients.
Two Lessons Every Leader Needs to Understand
First: You Have to Keep Plugging Along with Faith
Most of your influence happens in silence. The emails that get saved but never replied to. The casual comments that get replayed in someone’s head for months. The moments when you choose to show up instead of phone it in. You’re making waves you can’t see, creating ripples you’ll never trace back to their source.
I spend every day trying to help people improve their health, often feeling frustrated when the results aren’t what I envision for them. But influence isn’t always measured in immediate, visible outcomes. Sometimes it’s measured in someone finding the strength to keep going because you took five seconds to acknowledge their progress.
Second: Say the Thing
We think the positive thoughts. We notice when someone does good work. We see the progress, the effort, the small victories. But too often, we keep these observations locked in our heads like they’re classified information.
Stop it.
That encouragement you’re thinking but not saying? It could be exactly what someone needs to hear today. That acknowledgment you assume someone already knows? They probably don’t. That “obvious” recognition you think doesn’t need to be spoken? Speak it anyway.
The impact is always bigger than you think.
Your influence as a leader, as a physician, as a human being, is never neutral. Every interaction is either adding to someone’s strength or taking away from it. Every moment is either building them up or letting an opportunity slip by.
The young man who reminded me of this truth probably has no idea that his feedback changed how I’ll approach every patient interaction going forward. His words about my words created a loop of influence that will ripple forward for years.
That’s how influence really works. Not in grand gestures, but in the accumulation of small moments when we choose to see people, acknowledge their efforts, and speak the encouragement that lives in our heads.
Your words matter more than you know. Your acknowledgment carries more weight than you realize. Your brief moments of genuine human connection create lasting impact you may never see.
So say the thing. Because your influence is never neutral, and the world needs more people willing to use that power to build others up.
What encouragement are you thinking but not saying today? The impact might be bigger than you think.
